1. Scientists in Japan are trying to make fuel out of coffee grounds. Maybe this is how to get Starbucks out of it’s slump! A lot of people think Starbucks tastes like oil already. Plus, a grande latte is already cheaper than a gallon of gas. This way, your car can keep going all night long! It might shake a bit though.
2. The International Court of Justice in the Netherlands has told the United States to pause the executions of two Mexicans, because it feels that their international rights were violated. So using the same strategy as he did with Guantanamo Bay, the President had the prisoners moved to his office, so that he can now claim that the court only has jurisdiction in places governed by reality.
3. In South Africa, people are trying to legalize prostitution for the World Cup soccer tournament. But maybe they should pay the players more, so they don’t have to earn money that way.
4. Inflation hit a 26-year high yesterday. Analysts say that energy prices were the main driver of price growth. Oh really? You don’t say. The Chairman of the Federal Reserve warned, though, that there are “risks” to economic growth right now. Oh yeah, well call me Eval Knieval. Bring those risks on!
5. A lot of airlines reported operating losses yesterday. However, they said that if they didn’t count one-time expenses, then it wasn’t so bad. “Oh, they don’t really count.” Yeah, like that one-time loss of my house. Didn’t count!
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