1. Barack Obama was at a pecan festival yesterday and his staff made a little diorama with pecans on strings. They’re very good at it, since most of them were still turning in dioramas for grades last year. However, some people thought the pecans and strings weren’t very presidential. For example, Jesse Jackson had this to say:
But some people misinterpreted that statement! Is Jesse Jackson going crazy? Is he pulling a Pat Robertson on us? Or has he always been this way?
Oh yeah. Proof yet again that even really good people sometimes say crazy stupid shit. Jackson apologized to the Obama camp, explaining that it was just his way of reconciling with the Clintons.
2. George Bush officially approved the new wire-tapping bill that gives his administration sweeping powers to listen to phone conversations. Although he unofficially approved the bill about a day before Congress voted. Somehow he knew how Congressmen were going to vote…
3. Scientists in Italy now say that a famous statue thought to be 2,500 years old is actually only 800. There’s already a push to do a similar carbon-dating test on jokes about John McCain’s age.
4. I heard Phil Gramm talking yesterday about how he was so tired from lack of sleep. Man, what a whiner. So Gramm said that the current recession is just in people’s heads. Yeah, you want to know why $5-a-gallon gas and failed mortgages are filling our heads? Because there’s no room for anything else! Who can think about anything else?
5. Scientists now say that they can sometimes predict earthquakes from the stress on nearby rocks. This is similar to tracking temper tantrums from the stress levels in Donald Trump’s hair.
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