7/14

1. So President Bush has now lifted the ban on offshore oil-drilling. He said: “The American people are watching the numbers climb higher and higher at the pump and they’re waiting to see what Congress will do to match my ridiculous election-year move.” No, wait, he didn’t say the last part. He only thought it. Bush said he wants Congress to pass legislation to allow “responsible offshore exploration”. Man has he mellowed. Because before, he was for irresponsible offshore exploration. Like that proposal to build drilling bits out of the teeth of manatees.

2. World Youth Day, also known as the Catholic Woodstock, is being held in Australia this year. Over 100,000 young Catholics are expected to attend. And I hear the communion wafers with Bart Simpson on them have acid.

3. Did you see the cover of the New Yorker magazine? The picture of Barack Obama in traditional Muslim clothes and his wife dressed like a Black Panther with a gun strapped across her back? Oh that left wing media is at it again! Always trying so hard to made Obama look good! When I saw it, I wondered if it was one of those gag things, where like the New Yorker switches staff with Rush Limbaugh for the week. Over at the Rush Limbaugh website, maybe they had a picture of Bush sucking oil out of a Saudi prince’s cock.

4. Today, both presidential candidates spoke to the Latino civil rights group known as La Raza, in celebration of Let’s Pretend to Speak Spanish Day.

5. Hitmen in Mexico are supposedly offering their services in online ads, posted in between ads for domestic help. Maybe that’s why they’re known as ‘cleaners’. One ad said “Assassin, ex-military, professional and discreet.” Discreet? Then why are posting online?