9/4

1. A new study says women with extremely thin thighs have a higher risk of heart disease. The study emphasized that this doesn’t mean you shouldn’t go to the gym. Just that you can safely mock the bulimic women who are there all the time.

2. Two newspapers in Bangladesh mistakenly published a fake news article from the Onion that said Neil Armstrong admitted the Moon landings were a hoax. It was the biggest mistake the newspapers had made since publishing NASA’s original hoax 40 years ago.

3. At a state fair competition in Dallas this year, a man is selling fried butter. Don’t people usually fry things IN butter? That’s like breaded bread. The yearly fair has earned Dallas the nickname of Fried Food Capital of Texas. Which is really the major leagues. It would be nothing to be the Fried Food Capital of Washington -- that’s like being the Scuba Diving Capital of Switzerland. The competition gives two awards: Best Taste and Most Creative. Last year’s Most Creative winner -- a deep-fried can of Diet Coke.

4. A new study says eating late at night makes people gain weight. So why are vampires always so skinny? The study also said that eating during the day can be a problem too.

5. At a Wal-Mart in Georgia, a man was arrested for repeatedly slapping a crying 2-year-old. After slapping the child, other shoppers in the store immediately burst into applause, confirming Georgia’s nickname -- the Child-Hater State.