1. Turkey’s Sultan Kosen is now the world’s tallest man -- eight feet one inch. He says it’s been hard to find a wife, because women are scared of his height. Actually, I don’t think they’re scared of his height, but the probable size of other parts of him.
2. President Obama has cancelled missile defense bases in Poland and the Czech Republic. Former President Bush originally put them there to protect their famous sausage and beer, but Obama is going to put the bases in Italy to protect the world’s arugula.
3. After controversy about players of Guitar Hero using Kurt Cobain’s image to sing other people’s songs, Jon Bon Jovi said he would also be upset if his video game image sang other people’s songs. No word on what the other people would think about Bon Jovi singing their songs.
4. Did you see Obama after Jimmy Carter said opponents of Obama’s healthcare reform are motivated by racism? He looked like Beyonce during Kanye West’s rant. “Um, thanks, but please stay away from me, crazy man.”
5. Thieves stole a statue of a coyote from the former resort home of Bernie Madoff. Considering Madoff, I would have thought he’d have statues of the Roadrunner.
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