1. Yesterday, Libyan leader Muammar Gaddafi was scheduled to speak at the United Nations for 15 minutes, but instead went on for 96 minutes, talking about swine flu being a conspiracy, Israel killing JFK, and promoting his own website. Afterwards, Fox News offered him a talk show.
2. Women at an espresso stand near Seattle were arrested for stripping while making coffee. You see, that would never happen with male baristas, because they would never make steaming hot coffee while naked.
3. A Russian billionaire is the new owner of the New Jersey Nets basketball team. He bought a pro sports team because, after watching Vladimir Putin, he wants to try the next-closest thing to being a dictator.
4. A guy in England with a metal detector found the largest ever Anglo-Saxon hoard of gold. Metal detecting and medieval artifacts -- this is a metal detector’s wet dream. The only way this could be better is if the treasure was marked with signs of hobbits.
5. An alleged terrorist caught in Colorado was making bombs from hair salon products. Hmm, I would have thought he’d use a nail salon, but I guess those are more for making poison gas. I can’t believe women put this stuff on their heads. This makes waxing look like a foot massage. “Try Vidal Sassoon for truly explosive hair!”
No comments:
Post a Comment