Yesterday, a guy in Ohio bought a truck with 16 coffee cans full of coins. The dealer was flabbergasted. “You’re buying a truck?! With gas prices this high?!” Apparently the guy doesn’t believe in paper money, because you can burn it. Well, in my experience, if the fire is hot enough, anything will burn. Plus, flammability might be a lot nicer to have this winter.
In Switzerland, authorities tried to find a giant balloon in the shape of a dog turd that the wind blew away. Residents didn’t report it, because they were hiding in their homes, too scared that the dog would come back.
On Saturday, John McCain said that to be considered rich, a person had to make at least $5 million dollars a year. Yes, and it is time to address the horrible poverty among today’s investment bankers and lawyers, many of whom only make $500,000 a year!
A new animated Star Wars movie is coming out this weekend. They got rid of the actors, because that’s what really held back the recent Star Wars movies, right? Actors like Ewan MacGregor, Samuel L. Jackson, Natalie Portman, Liam Neeson -- always holding back those wonderful plots and animated characters. The title of the new movie is “The Clone Wars”, which refers to the battle between the great George Lucas and the alien-created clone that took over his life and started making horrible movies.
Russia has warned Poland that it’s exposing itself to attack by signing a missile defense deal with the United States. Actually, Poland exposed itself to attack by recklessly placing itself next to Russia. A lot of people wanted to put Poland in the South Pacific, but no, the idiots in charge didn’t want to give up the chance to bag some hot Scandinavian women.
A new insect species has been discovered on eBay. Here’s a picture of some of them swarming. Is eBay considered a habitat now? I always thought it was just populated by grilled-cheese Jesuses.
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