1. Tom Cruise is trying to get his own comic book movie. It’s going to be called “Tom Cruise”, and will be about the fantastic adventures of a hyperactive cult member who saves people from not understanding Scientology. There will be some CGI.
2. Scientists have learned that magpies can recognize their reflections in mirrors, which is better than Arnold Schwarzenegger. Let‘s look at those before and after Botox pics.
3. Did you hear about the two guys who said they found a Bigfoot body? Well, you’re not going to believe this - but it turned out to be a hoax! Now how did these guys think they were going to get away with this?
4. Barack Obama has described his ideal vice president - every single American, because then they would vote for their own ticket.
5. Several college presidents are urging the federal government to lower the drinking age to 18, because those teenage hotties should be out in the open. Hot teen action shouldn’t be kept behind doors.
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