1. On Saturday, John McCain said that to be considered rich, a person had to make at least $5 million dollars a year. Yes, and it is time to address the horrible poverty among today’s investment bankers and lawyers, many of whom only make $500,000 a year!
2. The mayor of a small town in Australia has invited ugly women to come there, because they have such a shortage of women. I found this out, because I got an invitation. I had to inform them that I am not actually, technically, a woman. But they said that surgery could be arranged.
3. One thing I love about the Olympics is the way it takes games that most of us just know as little harmless garden hobbies, and turns them into macho crazy sports. Like badminton. Have you ever played badminton? [Act out little underhand swings.] Now, have you seen Olympic badminton? [Show clips from the final match, with players straining and leaping.] Although, what do you really expect from a sport with a ball called a ‘shuttlecock’?
4. The president of Pakistan, Pervez Musharraf, has resigned, and the U.S. has said that it will continue to work with the government of Pakistan. Well, that’s nice, considering that it was democratically elected.
5. The Democratic Party is saying that its convention this month will be the most diverse ever. You don’t even have to be human.
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