1. A man in Nigeria with 86 wives is now warning people to not follow his example. He says: “Have no more than two. Be more like John Edwards.” He also claims to speak to the Prophet Mohammad, so a lot of Muslim scholars are calling him a heretic. And even worse, he’s started drawing cartoons.
2. The African nation of Mauritania was taken over by its military again. The news struck fear in the hearts of many stoners who thought the military had taken over Marijuana. “I didn’t even know we had our own country!”
3. The zoo in Baghdad now has tigers again. The tigers are being kept in a super-reinforced cage. Not to protect visitors from getting eaten by the tigers, but to protect the tigers from getting eaten by visitors.
4. The woman who had an affair with John Edwards said that she isn’t going to seek a paternity test. Maybe this is her revenge on him, so we’ll always suspect that he is the father.
5. Kanye West is on the road in what he’s calling the “Glow in the Dark” tour. The name comes from his radioactive genitals.
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