BEST OF THE WEEK

In Germany, they’re now selling a bra that is bullet-proof. And we thought men in the U.S. were obsessed with breasts. “Forget the head! We must protect the breasts from bullets!” There’s already been some interest in Hollywood, although of course most breasts in Hollywood are already able to stop bullets. There’s not a lot of organic material left in there.

John McCain has a political ad that compares Barack Obama to Paris Hilton. Hilton’s mother says McCain’s ad is “a complete waste of the country’s time and attention”. Has she ever seen a political ad before? They’re ALL a complete waste of the country’s time and attention.

A federal task force says it may be better to not do routine prostate screening at all. NOW they tell us? But what if we like it? Does it count when we have someone just playing the ‘doctor’?

Did you see the latest weather in Beijing? This is the first time volunteers at the Olympic marathon won’t just be passing out water -- they’ll be passing out oxygen tanks.

The ex-driver for Osama bin Laden has been found guilty, and the White House said that “the Military Commission system is a fair and appropriate legal process”. Which is why they tried to subvert it for years. The White House added that the continued fairness and appropriateness of the system depends on whether any verdicts go against them.

Thailand has banned the video game Grand Theft Auto IV. Not because of the game’s rampant dangerous driving, prostitution, and corrupt police -- they’ve already got that in Thailand. No, they’re worried that the game might make people start growing facial hair.

Yesterday, Barack Obama said that he wants to refocus his campaign on bedrock issues. Specifically, drilling into the bedrock for oil.

It looks like smog levels are going down in Beijing just in time for the Olympics. I guess the Chinese government’s plan is working -- you know, putting a two-month ban on burning books.

Researchers now say that the world’s oldest known joke is a fart joke. It translates as: “Something which has never occurred since time immemorial; a young woman did not fart in her husband’s lap.” I think it loses something in the translation. But my favorite is a Roman joke that goes: “The emperor was out for a walk when he met a young man who somehow looked very familiar. So he asked the young man: ‘Did your mother work at the palace?’ And the young man said: ‘No - but my father does.’”