1. Engineers are trying to make the internet faster by slowing down parts of it. That’s why at my office, we sometimes drug my manager. “Urrr, was there supposed to be a meeting today?” “No, no meeting today.” “Okaaay.”
2. They’re going to do a remake of the movie “The Rocky Horror Picture Show”. But don’t they usually wait to do remakes until the original is out of theaters?
3. During one of his world records last night, Michael Phelps said his goggles filled with water, which slowed him down. Yeah, I know how that goes. I was going to set my personal best for most cheez doodles in one hour, but the bag didn’t open properly, and the friction from the flap really slowed me down. Plus, I injured my hand at doodle #247.
4. When asked why the Yankees weren’t winning more, a team spokesman said: “There’s only so much they can do. They’re not supermen.” So the Boston Red Sox and Tampa Bay Devil Rays are supermen? Their competitors are humans - it’s not like they’re fighting robots or a hurricane.
5. Yesterday, John McCain said: “We are all Georgians.” And you know, the untold story here is the savings in time and money that the crisis in Georgia. Both candidates can reuse their sound bites and press releases for both Georgias, which will let them do so many other things.
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