BEST OF THE WEEK

Today is April 20, which is both Hitler’s birthday and a holiday for marijuana. Now, I’d like to see that parade. People getting stoned and others doing the stoning. Finally a parade that both the left and the right can get behind… and hate. Rush Limbaugh and Michael Moore would be side by side. “You know, Rush, I really don’t like this parade.” “Dittos, Mike.”

The Somali pirate captured last week has now arrived in New York. Apparently his mother has pleaded with President Obama to let him go, because she says he was talked into piracy by “gangsters with money”. Um, isn’t that why almost all robbers get into the business? “Hey, I only attacked that boat because I wanted to make money!” I hope that’s not his defense in court.

President Obama is going to regulate CO2 as a pollutant. Many right-wing pundits are upset, because this might force them to cut down on their own hot air.

The U.S. government is now threatening to jail captured Somali pirates. But you probably aren’t going to stop piracy as long as American prison is way better than regular life in Somalia.

Analysts say that until unemployment rates go down, the economy will not improve. Gee, thanks for that! I had no idea. I hear that without jobs, people aren’t going to be commuting to work as much either.