4/17

1. President Obama is going to regulate CO2 as a pollutant. Many right-wing pundits are upset, because this might force them to cut down on their own hot air.

2. A court in Norway has jailed the founders of Pirate Bay. Not the Somali kind, but the music stealing kind. Oh, those innocent days.

3. The captain of the ship that was taken by pirates is going home. He plans to fly, because planes never get hijacked.

4. Three million fitness balls are being recalled after discovering that they could explode from over inflation. That happened with my balls too.

5. There is now a new rival for the world’s tallest man. The previous tallest man was Phil Spector.