4/20

1. Today is April 20, which is both Hitler’s birthday and a holiday for marijuana. Now, I’d like to see that parade. People getting stoned and others doing the stoning. Finally a parade that both the left and the right can get behind… and hate. Rush Limbaugh and Michael Moore would be side by side. “You know, Rush, I really don’t like this parade.” “Dittos, Mike.”

2. The Somali pirate captured last week has now arrived in New York. Apparently his mother has pleaded with President Obama to let him go, because she says he was talked into piracy by “gangsters with money”. Um, isn’t that why almost all robbers get into the business? “Hey, I only attacked that boat because I wanted to make money!” I hope that’s not his defense in court.

3. A new study says the Great Wall of China is much longer than its official distance. In fact, it’s over 50% longer! That’s similar to new studies about watching the movie “Fast & Furious”. It feels 50% longer than the official running time.

4. A candidate for mayor of Detroit has walked away from the mortgage on his house. He says that’s what he’s also thinking about doing with the whole city. “Let’s just call it a loss and walk away.”

5. Did you hear about this big boycott of the UN’s racism summit in Switzerland? Apparently, people are upset that Israel is being called a racist nation, just because it was established on Arab land, openly discriminates against Arabs, and violently enforces a state of apartheid similar to South Africa’s campaign against blacks. Yeah, who would ever call that racism?