BEST OF THE WEEK

In Russia today, an explosion occurred inside a statue of Lenin [picture above]. Police still don’t know what caused it, but my guess is Taco Bell.

Two guys in Boston are being called heroes for catching a baby falling from a third-story window. But who's NOT going to do that? [bored voice] “Is that a baby falling?” “Yup. [pause] Too bad I’m holding this beer.” Now there’s a hero.

The star of the movie “Slumdog Millionaire” is going to join the cast of “24”. In this year’s big plot twist, Jack Bauer’s terrorism unit has been hit by budget problems, and they have to move the command center to India.

Michelle Obama spoke to a group of schoolgirls in London today, telling them: “We are counting on every single one of you to be the best that you can be.” Then she added: “So that when you run for political office, someone like my husband can defeat you.”

In England, some people blocked a car from Google that was taking pictures of their houses. But it’s very easy to make sure no one can access internet photos. Just make sure they use Time Warner Cable.

So did you hear this news that General Motors and Chrysler have finally put together a real plan to turn themselves around and make fuel-efficient cars that people will love? April Fool’s!

The new movie about the superhero Wolverine has been leaked onto the internet. However, the version on the internet has no computer special effects yet, so the climactic fight scene still looks like this: