1. A new report says that 97% of e-mails sent out are unwanted. 40% of unwanted e-mails are from spammers and the rest are from my cousin-in-law.
2. The Wall Street Journal reports that spies have been infiltrating American water and power grids, leaving behind software that could wreck all of our systems. The software is called Microsoft Vista.
3. Hugh Jackman says that he’s “heartbroken” over the release of the new Wolverine movie on the internet. Literally, when he heard the news, he reached into someone’s chest and pulled out their heart.
4. A new study says that chimpanzees will trade meat for sex. Yes, but don’t we all? That’s like when I traded a bologna sandwich for a kiss with Rebecca Smith in the 3rd grade.
5. Have you heard about this former lap-dancer who is now a nun in Italy? This is true. Hot, but true.
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