1. A lot of luxury seats at the new Yankee Stadium are going empty, because the only people in New York who can afford them these days are already out on the field.
2. In Massachusetts, a man dressed as a ninja tried to rob a dry cleaner. But he left when the clerk told him she couldn’t open the drawer. Well, now we know he wasn’t a real ninja, because he would have been able to open the drawer for her.
3. A mysterious distant space blob has been confusing scientists trying to figure out what it is. That is, until they realized that it was just a reflection from Simon Cowell’s teeth.
4. Venezuela gave back to the United States an island in a river near Philadelphia. Up until now, they had been keeping the island under Hugo Chavez’s second chin.
5. Apple said that it made a big profit recently, thanks especially to iPhone sales. Because even if you lost your private jet on Wall Street, at least you maintain your feeling of superiority with an iPhone.
No comments:
Post a Comment