4/19

1. Somali gunman have kidnapped members of Doctors Without Borders. First they capture food aid, now they capture charity doctors. These guys are really masters of public relations. I hear next they’re going to kidnap orphans and try to get money from Madonna.

2. The White House is going to target credit card companies that charge huge interest rates. I think it’s because they’re thinking of using them too. Think of that new Visa ad: “Incompetent Wall Street investment banks. We need to give them private jets and limousines -- and they don’t take American Express.”

3. The number one movie at the box office is “17 Again”, which stars Zac Efron as an actor who wishes he could play cute high school kids forever.

4. Exxon-Mobil has now beaten Wal-Mart to become the biggest company in the world. Wal-Mart needs to start offering gas discounts.

5. Obama has been getting criticism over his smile and handshake for Hugo Chavez. Most pundits wanted him to spit in the guy’s face.