1. Scientists have finally sequenced the DNA of cows! Now we might finally isolate the gene that allows them to be so easily tipped.
2. Health experts are saying the Miss Universe beauty pageant contestant from Australia is malnourished and has an eating disorder. In other words... she’s competing in a beauty pageant.
3. Did you hear in Detroit, some thieves were robbing a house, shot at a neighbor who was watching, and the bullet bounced off the neighbor’s bra? Yeah, and I was so lucky to be wearing that.
4. Michelle Obama revealed that she and her staff like to sneak off to restaurants without anyone knowing. But she emphasized that the Secret Service still come. So just the First Lady, staff members, and five guys the size of Hummers. Yeah, I bet no one notices that.
5. Microsoft had its first drop in sales since it became a public company. Actually, the sales were originally believed to be positive, but then they ran the numbers on an Apple computer and found the error.
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