An extreme animal rights activist from California has been added to the FBI’s Most Wanted list. So if you see the man in this picture, please call the police immediately. He may give himself up if the price is right.A lot of luxury seats at the new Yankee Stadium are apparently going empty, because the only people in New York who can afford them these days are already out on the field.
Scientists have finally sequenced the DNA of cows! Now we might finally isolate the gene that allows them to be so easily tipped.
Yesterday, Bea Arthur was remembered by her “Golden Girl” co-stars, which was very touching, because these days most of them can’t remember their own names.
Salaries on Wall Street are now approaching the same levels as last year. I guess it’s time for those special payment packages called “golden parachutes”. Because a parachute made out of gold would not work.
Michelle Obama has revealed that she and her staff like to sneak off to restaurants without anyone knowing. But she emphasized that the Secret Service still comes. So just the First Lady, staff members, and five guys the size of Hummers. Yeah, I bet no one notices that.
Health experts are saying the Miss Universe beauty pageant contestant from Australia is malnourished and has an eating disorder. In other words… she’s competing in a beauty pageant.
Barack Obama says he’s going to bring the leaders of Israel and Palestine to Washington. Great! Netanyahu and Hamas together at the bargaining table! Oh, wait, he means Mahmoud Abbas, the man whose party lost both the Palestinian election and a recent civil war. Hmm, yes. That’s like Britain saying: “Hey, we’re going to bring together the leaders of China and the United States!” And then inviting John McCain.
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