1. One of Boston’s major newspapers, the Globe, is in big financial trouble. To save money, they’ve even stopped printing the letter “r”, since no one there pronounces it anyway.
2. Iowa legalized same-sex marriages yesterday. But I don’t think some people there understood the whole idea of 'same-sex marriage'. “Well, after my wife and I got married, we were still having sex the same way. I didn’t know you had to change. Of course, we had to change some things because of the animal cruelty laws.
3. When the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame inducts new members tonight, they'll have a big jam session, but I think that might be tough in the future, because you can’t lip-sync a jam session.
4. North Korea launched a missile today, claiming that it was sending a satellite into orbit. Actually, they did plan on launching a satellite, but people ate it.
5. In Italy, police have found over a hundred illegal immigrant children living underneath railway stations. Most were children of visiting American pop stars.
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