Yesterday, a court awarded $240,000 to a man who was forced to cover up his Arabic t-shirt on an airplane. And today, airports were flooded with Wall Street bankers in Arabic t-shirts. “I’ll cover it up for just $50,000!”
Yesterday in New Jersey, some deer broke into an elementary school and trashed a supply room. Yes, New Jersey -- where even Bambi is a felon. Luckily, the kids were able to handle it, since most of them were armed.
Well, it’s New Year’s Eve, which means thousands of people will be gathering in Times Square to watch the stock market drop.
President Bush has now created the largest protected ocean area in the world. In fact, Bush has protected more ocean than any other president. Mostly because he’s also created so much more ocean through global warming.
The Obama family is now staying at the Hay-Adams Hotel in Washington, which overlooks the White House. That makes sense, because until Obama gets in, a lot of people are overlooking the White House.
An analyst in Russia says the United States will split into six different regions ruled by different countries. Like the West will go to China, and the Northeast will go to the European Union. Man, what an idiot! Everyone knows the whole country is going to China!
Heather Locklear was sentenced to three years of “informal probation” after being found guilty of reckless driving. What is “informal” probation? Does that mean you can wear jeans? Is it better than “business casual” probation?
There was an outbreak of violence in Somalia this week after the president resigned. Of course, there would have been an outbreak of violence anyway, but at least this gives us a timeline.
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