1. I saw this headline today: “Man challenges gangs with basketball.” I thought that was a great idea, but personally, I’d rather use a gun. Then I found out that the basketball was 50-caliber. Which is a trick I hear Oklahoma City’s NBA team is thinking about. “Maybe we can win if we use military weapons.” Oklahoma City’s team is called the Thunder, because of the echo in the empty arena. And considering they’re from Oklahoma, Tornadoes would have been inappropriate. But it’s much better than the other name they were thinking of: the Oklahoma City Detroit Lions.
2. Did you hear about this guy in Connecticut who bought two lottery tickets the same day that he died of a heart attack, and one of them won $10 million? Talk about life insurance. And this is true, the widow said that she might use the money to go to a casino. I think you’re pushing your luck a little there. Are you going to kill someone in your family before you go? Is this your new strategy?
3. The Consumer Electronics Show in Las Vegas is underway, though it doesn’t quite have the pizzazz of previous years. For example, the most popular new gadget this year is the family-size Sony Electric Tent.
4. Gyms are working hard to get new members in hard economic times. They say that the best way to burn calories is to run from house to house trying to get people to sign up for the gym. People just don’t have the money to contribute to gyms that they won’t go to. For most people, buying a gym membership is like giving to charity.
5. Today, the Obama family moved to Washington. They’re staying at the Hay-Adams Hotel for now, which overlooks the White House. That makes sense, because until Obama gets in, a lot of people are overlooking the White House.
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