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A misguided attempt to start writing jokes based on Slate magazine articles:

1. If Apple became a bank, it probably wouldn’t let you transfer money from any other bank. And Steve Jobs would probably get rid of ATMs because he thinks they’re ugly.

2. Rosenbaum, the author, also wrote a book called “Explaining Hitler”. Now this article explains Billy Joel. Seems like a bit of an anticlimax after Hitler. Maybe his next book will be “Explaining People Who Use Bluetooth”.

3. In Saudi Arabia, there’s a special camp that tries to reform terrorists. The terrorists get to watch movies, eat good food, and play video games. Yeah, they probably like playing Grand Theft Auto, since it lets them learn the layout of New York City.

4. Did you know the Liberty Mutual insurance company sponsors an award for firefighters? Probably because firefighters reduce the amount of money they have to pay. “Yay! They saved the house! Now we don’t have to pay to rebuild it!”

5. I give money to homeless people unless they have a dog, because anyone with the ability to maintain a well-trained dog has the ability to get a job.