1. Did you hear about this skier in Colorado whose pants got caught on a chair lift, and he ended up hanging naked off the chair? He was hanging there for seven minutes, which doesn’t seem long, until you realize what he was hanging from.
2. White House press secretary Dana Perino says the Bushes have already started packing. She said they didn’t bring many things, so it’s really just books and items from their travels. Which means packing should take about five minutes.
3. Joe the Plumber is going to become a war correspondent in Israel. How is that going to go? [thick Yiddish accent] “So who the hell are you? What are your credentials? You’re a plumber? That’s nice. Meet my son, the doctor.”
4. Mississippi now has the highest teen pregnancy rate in the country. Meaning yet another generation will have no idea how to spell ‘Mississippi’.
5. Israel has now agreed on the “principles” of a ceasefire. Doesn’t everyone agree to the principles of a ceasefire?
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