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1. There was an outbreak of violence in Somalia this week after the president resigned. Of course, there would have been an outbreak of violence anyway, but at least this gives us a timeline.

2. You know Bernie Madoff, the Wall Street banker who conned investors out of $50 billion? Yesterday, his sons told prosecutors that he sent them jewelry in violation of court orders. His sons. Man, things change when you’re not getting an inheritance anymore, huh?

3. President Bush has now created the largest protected ocean area in the world. In fact, Bush has protected more ocean than any other president. Mostly because he’s also created so much more ocean through global warming.

4. In Minnesota, Al Franken has been declared the winner of the Senate race. His opponent, Norm Coleman has already been offered a job at Saturday Night Live.

5. The new US embassy in Iraq is the largest and most expensive ever. Can we get a picture of it? [Show a picture of the embassy superimposed over the entire map of Iraq.] This is how we’re going to withdraw and not withdraw at the same time. “Oh, we’ll just stay at the new embassy.”