1. An Australian man in Thailand has been sentenced to three years in prison for ‘insulting’ the king. Upon hearing the news, President Bush announced plans to move to Thailand. “Now that’s more like it!”
2. Vice President-elect Joe Biden’s wife said she was glad he was going to be vice president instead of secretary of state, because he wouldn’t have to travel so much. Has she done much research about vice presidents? Before Cheney, their main job was going to foreign funerals. The only reason Cheney didn’t go to many funerals is because he was so often involved in the deaths.
3. A new study says that stressed people are more likely to develop dementia. But maybe they’re stressed out because they have dementia.
4. A video making the rounds on the internet shows a car driving around Lebanon with a cow in the back seat. The cow’s head was out the window, because the seats were made from leather. For a cow, that’s like traveling in a moving graveyard.
5. President Bush has only granted 189 pardons during his eight years in office, as opposed to 450 by Clinton and 406 by Reagan. To the end, Bush doesn’t like saying “pardon”.
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