1. A recent article about Renee Zellweger's new movie is called “Help, My Face Is Frozen!”, but I thought it was going to be about Zellweger’s Botox treatments.
2. A college thesis by Dick Cheney’s daughter reveals ideas that sound like Cheney used to help with her homework. This is why she never had to take a test -- she would argue that, technically, she was a student in another class.
3. Google keeps finding more and more ways for people to save their e-mails. I find the best way to do that is to read them to my niece and tell her that they’re breakfast cereal jingles. Then she never forgets them.
4. Maybe Wall Street banks keep making such destructive decisions because they’re getting their orders from China. That is who’s giving them their bailout money in the long run, after all.
5. Obama was upset because his daughters’ school in Washington canceled classes because there were two inches of snow! I know, how do they survive in blizzards like that? When I lived in Boulder, Colorado, two inches of snowfall was called a “mild April day”.
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