1. The vice-presidential debate will be tomorrow, and the candidates are both preparing in their own ways. Joe Biden is brushing up on history, like how the Founding Fathers did not have helicopters. Sarah Palin is preparing at one of John McCain’s homes -- Home #34-B, if I recall. Mostly, she’s working on developing an immunity to rattlesnake venom. That way, if she’s cornered by Biden, she can just throw a rattler at him.
2. Some scientists say that using air fresheners will lower life expectancy. Except in my house, where if I don’t use the air freshener after the bathroom, my life expectancy will be lowered by my wife.
3. In India, there is now a ban on smoking in public. But I thought they wanted to reduce their population.
4. Janet Jackson has postponed her tour, because she still hasn’t decided which body part to flash. The young singers these days have upped the bar so much.
5. A new study says that without junk mail, the post office would go out of business. Yeah, now there’s a surprise. What else do they deliver these days? I’m always getting junk mail - like bank statements. You know, crazy stuff no one believes.
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