1. Historians say they may finally know what happened to the world’s first successful submarine. I don’t know about you, but my money’s on ‘sinking’.
2. A new study says that almost half of parents can’t recognize weight problems in their children. Maybe because they can’t even see their kids down there. “I think he’s somewhere near my knees!”
3. Apparently, an Italian airliner had a run-in with a UFO 17 years ago. Yeah, I had a UFO at an Italian restaurant once, but it turned out to be a meatball. That’s what happens when you have kids.
4. A group of scientists is going to let everyone see their genetic sequence. So now people will know if they have a tendency for blue eyes - or you could look at their faces.
5. Barack Obama is trying to get people to vote early, because he is way ahead in the polls now. “Vote now! Before you change your mind! And before I have to reveal my devil worship in November!”
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