1. Barack Obama’s campaign has kicked three conservative newspapers off his plane. When the newspapers complained, he said: “Hey, just be thankful we’re still on the ground.”
2. This weekend is the opening of the movie “Zack and Miri Make a Porno”, or as it’s called in the Italian government: “Auditions”.
3. Obama broadcast a half-hour infomercial last night. And tonight will be a half-hour infomercial for McCain. It’s called “Hannity & Colmes”.
4. A new study says that it’s okay for pregnant women to have one or two drinks a week. Amy Winehouse heard the news and said: “That’s great! I already only drink one or two kegs a week!”
5. A group in Great Britain is trying to break the record for the most zombies to perform the dance in Michael Jackson’s “Thriller”. The event will take place at the local headquarters for Apple Computers.
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