1. Well, it’s getting close to Halloween and the other day I walked past a house with these big demons in the windows, but in the yard was a statue of the Virgin Mary. It’s like they’re saying: “Just kidding! We’re not devil worshippers!” Or maybe they are devil worshippers, and the Mary statue is supposed to be the scary one.
2. Yesterday, Dick Cheney was treated for an irregular heartbeat. Yeah, he doesn’t have one.
3. Some experts say that the housing market still hasn’t hit bottom. In fact, I showed up for an open house yesterday and the real estate agent was wearing scuba gear.
4. John McCain told Barack Obama last night that he is not Bush, and if Obama wanted to run against Bush, he should have done it four years ago. A lot of people corrected him: “No, he should have run against him eight years ago! Then we might not be in this mess!”
5. A new fish fossil is giving clues about how sea animals made it to land. The methods are already being studied by human smugglers.
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