1. Canada has had an election, and the conservative party is set to win, which is good because if Obama becomes president, Republicans need someplace to move to.
2. In anticipation of a government plan to bail out banks today, the stock market jumped over 900 points yesterday. However, after President Bush actually announced the plan today, the stock market began falling again. Can someone tell me again why the economy is in these people’s hands? Maybe they should get someone besides Bush to announce the plans. It’s too obvious that he has no idea what he’s talking about.
3. Yesterday, a man in Florida tried to pay for a meal at McDonald’s with marijuana. Police didn’t say whether it was a Happy Meal.
4. A new study says that internet use is good for improving the brains of middle aged or older people. Yeah, porn will do that. Viagra for the mind.
5. A major expedition in Antarctica is going to study a huge range of mountains buried beneath over two miles of ice. They think Bin Laden might be hiding there.
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