1. Now, you’ve heard about referees throwing games, but sometimes I think they should hide it a little better. Take a look at this video from a recent Louisiana State football game. [Show video of referee tackling the LSU QB.] I haven’t seen anything like that since a profile of Barack Obama on Fox News.
2. Sarah Palin visited Roswell, New Mexico yesterday, which is where people say the government is hiding alien spaceships. A spokesperson for Palin said she had a conference with the aliens who abducted the real John McCain. His android lookalike is starting to wear down.
3. In Britain, people have learned that edible sex toys from China might be contaminated. Maybe the Chinese are just bitter about their one-child policy. “Damn it, the rest of the world needs to be scared of sex too!”
4. India is launching its first probe of the moon, in an attempt to find new audiences for Bollywood movies.
5. The McCain campaign is really hurting for cash apparently. This is true, they sent a letter to the Russian mission at the United Nations. The Russians, thankfully, declined. The McCain camp says it was a mistake, but they’ve changed directions so many times, who knows?
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