1. Some politicians are saying the public might support the Wall Street bailout if it wasn’t called a “bailout”. Well, isn’t that refreshingly open! “Hey, maybe they’d like it better if we lied!”
2. This weekend, presidential candidate Sarah Palin, I mean vice-presidential candidate Sarah Palin, said that Barack Obama “pals around” with terrorists, because he once attended an event run by a former member of the Weather Underground. It took awhile for Palin’s people to latch onto this, though, because at first she thought the Weather Underground was a group trying to get air-conditioning for the New York subways.
3. In Germany, the government is spending billions to bail out one of its banks too, a bank called Hypo Real Estate. Hypo. Don’t you think investors would have second thoughts about a bank named after hypodermic needles? Because that’s what easy credit was like -- heroin. Although my favorite bank name is a Japanese bank called, this is true, “Tomato Bank”. You know, I don’t trust any bank whose name can fit into a movie title beginning with “Attack of the Killer”.
4. In the African nation of Kenya, people are putting condoms on goats. Now, if they can do this for goats, why can’t they do it for American teenagers? Or at least the children of prominent Republicans?
5. O.J. Simpson was found guilty of robbery this weekend. When the news hit the streets, police in LA got worried when a huge group of black males gathered in a park. But it just turned out to be an Obama rally. My, how times have changed.
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