1. Scientists in Britain say they’ve created sperm for the first time in a laboratory. I beg to differ. Last year, I took a tour of a lab, and when I lost the group for awhile… well, those white coats were just too sexy to resist. The scientists say that it will take five years to perfect the technique. No, trust me, it takes at least fifteen.
2. Some people say the recession is keeping people from moving, which is bad for the economy. No, if people start moving around a lot, that’s not good -- that’s because they’re hobos.
3. Did you hear that one of the Harry Potter actors has been charged with growing marijuana? Police became suspicious when he wore a t-shirt reading: “Putting the ‘pot’ back into ‘Potter’.”
4. Prince William of England has now been made a lawyer, despite not having any qualifications. He’s already gotten job offers from Wall Street.
5. The Iraqi government has banned all organized visits to the grave of Saddam Hussein, because former Republican politicians keep visiting there. “Oh, we didn’t know how much we loved having you here until you were gone!”
No comments:
Post a Comment