1. President Obama met with the Pope today. Not for any political reasons, but just to compare their cool custom-made cars.
2. Levi Johnston, the ex-fiancee of Sarah Palin’s daughter, says Palin resigned to get millions of dollars from a book deal. He also said his relationship with the family has improved. Yeah, how’s that going now? That’s why he made the announcement -- because he makes more money if they don’t get along.
3. President Obama is visiting the African nation of Ghana, and one town has suspended all funerals (true). They’re hoping maybe Obama will bring the corpses back to life.
4. Controversial Senator Roland Burris of Illinois has decided to not run for reelection, because he says it would cost too much. Apparently with all the media attention, he would barely be able to take any bribes.
5. Did you hear about this family in England who lost a dog, so they tried to lure him back by spreading their urine around town? As if we need to give drunk people even more of a reason.
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