1. Saturday is the women’s final at Wimbledon, but a friend told me that he never watches it, because he only wants to watch the best, and the men’s final is the best. I said by that logic, he should be watching a lot of gay porn. Because no one can give a blowjob like a guy. Well, so I’ve heard. But he said no, he watches straight porn because it’s even more important to root for the home team.
2. Apparently the Washington Post was going to offer lobbyists a chance to have dinner with White House officials and reporters for $25,000. Other newspapers heard about it from lobbyists who were worried about the ethical problems. That’s how you know an event is unethical -- when even lobbyists are going: “Woah, that’s not right.”
3. True Story (really): Russian and Nigerian gas companies have formed a joint gas company called Nigaz. Former gangster rappers NWA have already sued them for starting an employee morale group called Nigaz With Attitude. It reminds me of the joint venture between the Polish city of Krakow and the brewery Coors to market to the region’s whites: Krakcoors.
4. Governor Mark Sanford of South Carolina says that he wants to start rebuilding the trust of the people of South Carolina. That’s why this weekend, he’s going to take his Fourth of July vacation in… Florida. I wonder how many women he has stashed away there?
5. Homosexuality has finally been made legal in India. It seems odd that India would be so against homosexuality, considering that its most macho film stars build their reputations on singing and dancing in colorful outfits.
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