1. Did you hear about this woman driving a school bus in Michigan who was punched by one of her passengers? So that adds parole violations to the charges against Chris Brown.
2. Bad marriages apparently affect the health of women more than men. Yeah, because the men are the reason for the bad marriage! They’re fine with not talking and having someone else cook and clean.
3. A woman in New York is charged with killing her orthodontist. Millions of parents across the country have sent her letters of sympathy.
4. The woman who swallowed her engagement ring in a milkshake has now passed the diamond out of her system. You know, Martha Stewart can do that too after swallowing lumps of coal. That’s how she paid her legal fees.
5. Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi met with Brad Pitt yesterday about raising money for housing in New Orleans. And in a fit of jealousy, the Republicans announced that they would be meeting with Jennifer Aniston.
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