2. A new study says that circumcision stops the spread of STDs. Mainly because after circumcision, men are in far too much pain to have sex. Oh, who are we kidding?
3. Google is laying off another 200 staff. Didn’t they learn anything from our problems in Iraq? When you lay people off, they form guerilla movements and end up attacking you.
4. A new study says that having very hot drinks increases the possibility of cancer. Especially if it’s tea from China, since most of that is radioactive.
5. Japan says that it will take down any North Korean rockets with its missile defense shield:
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