1. A boy in Vermont has won a contest for having the smelliest sneakers in the country. Oh man, if they had only had that when I was a kid! I would have blown everyone away. Literally. Then I wouldn’t have gone into this lousy talk-show host career.
2. AIG has now changed its name, in order to get away from the stigma of “AIG”. The new, much more acceptable name, is MFI - Manson Family Insurance.
3. A woman in Connecticut wanted to talk with her husband more, so she handcuffed herself to him and changed the locks in the bedroom. Then she bit him. For me, that’s called foreplay.
4. Did you hear about this parrot that alerted a babysitter about a choking baby? It was upset because the baby was getting crackers.
5. A fireman in Thailand persuaded a boy to come off a window ledge by dressing as Spiderman and offering him a glass of juice. I thought it was interesting that he needed the juice too. Well, that may be Spiderman, but he has juice too?!
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