1. Yesterday, Bernie Madoff pleaded guilty to defrauding investors out of nearly $50 billion. He said that he could not adequately express his sorrow. Really? You know, the Japanese used to have a technique for that [picture above]. I think that might be a start.
2. A new study says that large necks indicate a risk of heart problems. I can already see a wave of Richard Simmons videos for “necksercise”.
3. Monkeys have now been observed teaching their children how to floss. Dentists around the world were envious.
4. Did you hear about this guy who jumped into Niagara Falls on purpose, survived, then tried to swim away? No one even knows how Bernie Madoff got there.
5. Scientists say that they could figure out what young men were thinking, just by watching blood flow to certain parts of the brain. Yeah, there’s another way to tell what young men are thinking with blood flow.
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