1. Pistachios are now the latest food to have a salmonella outbreak. But for god’s sake, the things are green! You don’t even know if they’ve got mold on them. Pistachios are proof that people will eat anything. “Here, have this green fleshy nut.” There could be giant salmonella bacteria waving at people from pistachios. “We’re right here! We want to destroy your bowels!” And people would just keep popping them in their mouths.
2. Utah reformed its drinking laws today. You used to have to pay a “membership fee” to drink at a bar. Yeah, they have that in California too -- it’s called a cover charge. Bartenders can also now serve drinks to customers over the bar. Because before they were just chucking them [act out]. They gave new meaning to the drink “Harvey Wallbanger”.
3. The Plaxico Buress trial date has been postponed to June, because apparently the judge still hasn’t stopped laughing about how he shot himself.
4. New polls show that 70% of people around the world think we need serious economic reforms. So 30% think things are going just fine? Who are these people? Bankruptcy layers?
5. Online crime is surging during this recession. For example, there’s a new website up by AIG.
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