1. A man who lost his sight 30 years ago can now see flashes of light with a bionic eye. His wife said that “he can do a lot more now than he could before, like the washing.” Great, the one benefit from being blind, and it’s gone! So now he has all of the drawbacks, none of the benefits.
2. Obama is now trying to stop companies from charging the government the cost of business plus a profit, no matter how badly they do. That makes sense, because when you go to McDonald’s, they don’t tell you: “That’ll be $12,000,001, please. A dollar for the burger and $12,000,000 for the burger maker’s sexual harassment suit.”
3. Paul McCartney and Ringo Starr will play together for a charity that promotes transcendental meditation in schools. Hmm, Bono is fighting to end world hunger, and the surviving Beatles are trying to get kids to say “aum”. Ringo Starr said, “People have been saying that the two crazy Beatles are now dead. It’s a pleasure to prove them wrong.”
4. You can now cross reference your electronic books between Kindle and your iPhone. I think Kindle is an unfortunate name, because any name that brings to mind using books as kindling…
5. The prime minister of Britain said to Congress today that the bond between our two countries is “unbreakable”. Unless we bomb them.
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