BEST OF THE WEEK

A spokesman for John McCain said today about Sarah Palin that “the vetting controversy is a faux media scandal designed to destroy the first female Republican nominee for vice president of the United States who has never been part of the old boys’ network that has come to dominate the news establishment of this country.” Now, a couple things. First, you need to lay off the caffeine. Second, there’s this wonderful new invention called the ‘comma’. I’ll send you some information on it. Were there female Republican nominees for vice president who were part of the old boys’ network? Is he actually saying that the media would have been easier on a female vice president nominee thirty years ago? And, man, you are going for the sexist card way too early. Yeah, the media would never question the qualifications of a male vice presidential nominee, [cough] Dan Quayle.

Did you hear that Sarah Palin’s 17-year-old daughter is pregnant? If not, I can understand, since they announced it during a HURRICANE! “Oh my god, we have to put aside politics and just help the people of Louisiana! [cough] Oh, and my 17-year-old daughter is pregnant.” She plans to keep the baby and marry the father. I hear one of her bridesmaids is going to be Jamie Spears. So I guess the only real problem social conservatives had with the movie “Juno” is that it wasn’t spelled “Juneau”.

A town in Sicily is now offering abandoned homes for one euro apiece. That’s about a $1.44. Hmm, still a little pricey for me. Come on! In this market? I can get a mansion in Malibu for 50 cents and half a sneaker.

The Republicans have decided to have a shortened convention. Not because of Hurricane Gustav, but because they’re not sure if McCain will last till it’s over.

Just before Joe Biden visited Scranton, Pennsylvania, the Obama campaign released an ad that said: “Scranton is a place that never leaves you. It becomes part of your heart.” Specifically the right ventricle, where all that pizza and beer make sure that YOU never leave Scranton either.

Barack Obama’s acceptance speech at Mile High Stadium was the top-rated program on TV last week. Unfortunately, that’s only because 10 million viewers thought it was a halftime show.

Actor David Duchovny has entered a rehab center for sex addiction. Well, I guess now we know why they called it “The X Files”.

So the big news is that John McCain has chosen a woman, Sarah Palin, to be his vice president. Palin is the governor of Alaska, and Alaskans are really worried about her going to Washington, because then there will only be three other women left there.

A teenager in Britain just had a new shoulder built from his elbow. Some day, we are literally going to have someone who doesn’t know his ass from his elbow.

An airline in Canada is getting rid of life vests to save on fuel. That’s reassuring. Maybe next they’ll get rid of some passengers. “Oil hit $160 a barrel! Out you go!”

Today, a Canadian airline has suspended all flights because of high fuel prices, and yesterday this blog joked about it. Hmmm. Hey, did you hear about the Canadian airline that gave free back rubs? Worth a shot.

There’s going to be a movie about the creators of Facebook. So when people bug you about getting a Facebook account, you can just say you already saw the movie.