1. Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice made a historic trip to Libya yesterday. She’s going to stay in a tent and be guarded by an all-women bodyguard corps. That sounds like the set-up for a movie my fraternity used to watch a lot.
2. The economy lost more jobs last month than people were expecting. Well, except for the people who lost their jobs. They were probably expecting it.
3. Workers for the airplane manufacturer Boeing are going on strike over low pay. Apparently they haven’t gotten a raise in four years, despite record profits. To cope with the strike, Boeing is going downgrade all of its black boxes to pink.
4. The government is going to take over Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac, the mortgage giants. Which means that the government is now going to be in charge of your house. Because they’ve done such a good job with housing in the past.
5. So this guy has this dog in Britain, and he hears this rattling in the dog’s stomach. So he takes the dog to the vet and there are 13, 13, golf balls in the dog’s stomach. The dog had been eating golf balls for months. Has this dog been watching Michael Phelps?
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