1. Secretary of the Treasury Henry Paulson says there should be no punishment for banks like Goldman Sachs. Hmm, I wonder if that has anything to do with him being the former CEO of GOLDMAN SACHS?!
2. One of the biggest-ever diamonds has been found in a South African mine. The only bigger recent diamond was found in the fist of Sarah Palin after she visited a coal mine.
3. There’s a new trend for women to have cosmetic surgery on their vaginas. However, most of them are just contestants on “American Idol”. They’re getting ready for the paparazzi.
4. President Bush said that he was peppered with questions about the Wall Street bailout at the United Nations. Of course, by Bush standards, that means someone whispered a question to an aide from about fifty feet away. For Bush, that’s like: “Oh my god! Ease up! One at a time!”
5. At the World Trade Center site, construction workers have dug up rock formations carved by glaciers in the last Ice Age. There is no record of why people wanted to do that during the reign of rappers Vanilla Ice and Ice-T.
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