1. A Japanese aid flight to Chinese earthquake victims was cancelled, because local Chinese are still angry about World War II. First, something needs to be done to make average Chinese more friendly towards the Japanese -- like maybe, I don’t know, BRINGING AID TO EARTHQUAKE VICTIMS?
2. One of the world’s most isolated tribes was photographed for the first time on the border between Brazil and Peru. I’ll give you an idea of how isolated they are -- they still think Hillary has a shot at the nomination.
3. Yesterday, this is true, Condoleezza Rice was in Sweden and had a meeting with the heavy metal band Kiss. The band gave t-shirts to Rice’s staff, and following his usual tradition, Gene Simmons took Rice’s virginity.
4. Fishermen are protesting in France, and can we see a picture of that? [Show BBC photo of fishermen on a dock holding flares.] Are those light-sabers? Are they actually carrying fire in their hands? “We are the wizards of the sea!” These French fishermen don’t mess around. And as soon as the fishermen start plundering the oceans again, the environmentalists start protesting. It’s sort of a tag team thing.
5. A new study at Sheffield University has attempted to create the perfect human voice, by taking surveys of how people react to a variety of tones and speeds. We’ve got a sample of the perfect female voice that their computer then created. Listen. [Play recording of @@@ saying the show’s intro.] Well, they’re still working out the bugs.
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