1. The largest colorless diamond to go on auction in nearly 20 years was up on Wednesday. The stone was apparently found last November in John McCain’s kidney.
2. An extremely rare rhinoceros in Indonesia has now been filmed, and it immediately attacked the camera. The rhinoceros quickly received emotional support from the Screen Actors Guild. “We must stop stalking by paparazzi!”
3. Scientists now say that Stonehenge was used as a cemetery for about 500 years. The discovery was made when archaeologists dug up a stone tablet engraved with a joke about how old John McCain is. It was an easy joke even back then.
4. At the International Space Station, astronauts are waiting for the arrival of a pump to fix their broken toilet. Remember that old line from the movie ‘Alien’? “In space, no one can hear you scream.”
5. Sharon Stone has been dropped by advertisers in China after she suggested that the earthquake there was caused by bad karma. Well, if that’s true, she must have done some reeeaaallly bad things considering her recent career.
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